How the dude charmed his enemy

The first step was learning how to get him to accept me – charm him. It was a matter of speaking his language, understanding his perspective, and projecting my respect for him in a tangible way. These are things you might think you’re doing, but it requires more than just a bit of awareness and effort.

Next, I needed to befriend him and become more than an acquaintance. If I could get into his inner circle, I could get that same type of snarky argumentation on my side, and that could be valuable. Making someone feel validated and heard is the carpool lane to deeper friendships, especially when you combine it with humor.

Finally, I learned to defend myself from the extraneous and often off-base accusations and arguments he was making. Along with making sure that I was heard and people didn’t take advantage of me, it forced him to respect me more.