How do you slow down other people's sharing? (steps)
Answer
1. Pay attention. When they start sharing, ask yourself: Will they regret having said this tomorrow?
2. As soon as you hear them start to say something you think they may regret, interject a “me, too” story. This is the one case where interruption is warranted. Ideally, this would be something you’ve personally experienced, second best would be something that someone close to you has experienced, and third best would be something you’ve heard about. 3. If it’s too late and they’ve already gone too far, show them that you are placing their revelations in the whole-scope context of all you know about them—that whatever they are revealing is just one piece of a much bigger picture that contains many elements they can be proud of.
4. You can also aim to make them feel admired for having shared and revealed so much.
Tags
#charisma #myth
Question
How do you slow down other people's sharing? (steps)
Answer
?
Tags
#charisma #myth
Question
How do you slow down other people's sharing? (steps)
Answer
1. Pay attention. When they start sharing, ask yourself: Will they regret having said this tomorrow?
2. As soon as you hear them start to say something you think they may regret, interject a “me, too” story. This is the one case where interruption is warranted. Ideally, this would be something you’ve personally experienced, second best would be something that someone close to you has experienced, and third best would be something you’ve heard about. 3. If it’s too late and they’ve already gone too far, show them that you are placing their revelations in the whole-scope context of all you know about them—that whatever they are revealing is just one piece of a much bigger picture that contains many elements they can be proud of.
4. You can also aim to make them feel admired for having shared and revealed so much.
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Parent (intermediate) annotation
Open it It’s not easy, however, to slow people down when they’re in the middle of this kind of experience without leaving them feeling hurt and rejected. Here are a few “soft landing” approaches to try: 1. Pay attention. When they start sharing, ask yourself: Will they regret having said this tomorrow? 2. As soon as you hear them start to say something you think they may regret, interject a “me, too” story. This is the one case where interruption is warranted. Ideally, this would be something you’ve personally experienced, second best would be something that someone close to you has experienced, and third best would be something you’ve heard about. The “me, too” interjection accomplishes three things: First, this forces them to pause, interrupts their flow, and gives them a chance to slow down the stream of personal revelations. Second, they get to hear something similar to what they’ve just shared told by someone else, and with this switching of roles, a chance to hear how revelatory their own sharing was. They can then decide whether they feel comfortable continuing on that path. Last, this will help them when they come off the high. If their ego recoils in shame over having shared too much, they can cling to the fact that the person they shared so much with revealed something similar. 3. If it’s too late and they’ve already gone too far, show them that you are placing their revelations in the whole-scope context of all you know about them—that whatever they are revealing is just one piece of a much bigger picture that contains many elements they can be proud of. Say something like, “Wow, I never would have guessed you had such a strong impostor syndrome, too, considering all your accomplishments.” 4. You can also aim to make them feel admired for having shared and revealed so much. Remember, what you’re trying to counteract is shame, and few things work better for this than admiration. For example: “You’re showing some serious courage to be delving so deep. That’s
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