#11 #151127suckiest_things_college.html #2015 #has-images #http #www.lifehacker.jp41,690
College is supposed to be awesome. Everyone’s constantly reminding you that it’ll be the best time of your life. And it can be! But during the first year, that expectation might set you up for a nasty reality: starting college can really suck, too.
When I started college, I didn’t necessarily think it would be easy to make friends, but I didn’t think it’d be as hard as it was, either. A lot of people seemed to already belong to large groups, and since I didn’t really know anyone at my school, everyone was a stranger to me. I felt awkward, out of place, and alone. It was pretty much the opposite of what I thought college was supposed to be.
This, of course, is even harder if you’re shy or introverted. You’d rather go hide in your dorm, chat with old, familiar friends online, and do your own thing, but at the same time, you don’t want to turn into some friendless hermit. So that means talking to new people, which some of us absolutely dread.
Sociologists say that making friends comes down to three key factors:
Thankfully, college is a great place to find all three of these things. Joining a study group or some other student organization is a great way to get access to all three of those factors. Volunteering or finding a part-time campus job is another option.
When I was in college, I made most of my friends in organizations that I actually enjoyed, because they were full of like-minded people. For example, I joined a writing club at a local bookstore, and I hit it off with a couple of the other writers. We started writing together, and stayed great friends to this day. It helps to choose your activities wisely, but keep an open mind, too. Try a little bit of everything, and see what sticks.
Resist the temptation to go straight home after class or your other activities. Try not to hole up in your room all afternoon without exploring campus. I went to a commuter school, which meant that most of the students wanted to get out of there as soon as they could so they could go to their jobs or go home. To keep my inner introvert from taking over, I forced myself to say “yes” to campus activities, even if I felt like going home for the day. If I had to study, I tried to force myself to do it on campus, rather than isolated at home.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve been predisposed to saying “no” to social plans. If something isn’t …Read more
After a while, making friends becomes a bit more natural. It’s not easy at first, but it gets even harder once you graduate. So take advantage of the fun groups and activities while you can.
A lot of people start college trying to maintain their high school relationship. You probably expect that to be somewhat difficult, but it can be a lot harder than you think, and for reasons you might not even realize. Or maybe you’re not in a high school relationship, you’re just prepared to meet the love of your life in college. That could happen, and it certainly happens to a lot of people. But in reality, many of us spend quite a bit of time coping with heartache instead.
College is a rough time for romance. Think about it: you’ve just started becoming an adult, and experiencing what that means. You’re constantly growing, intellectually, emotionally, and socially. You change a lot. Some of those changes will surprise the hell out of you. You might be more or less the same person throughout your entire life, but in your early adulthood, your experiences will help shape your thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.
It’s kind of beautiful, really. But unfortunately, all that change makes relationships a lot tougher. While plenty of high school sweethearts go on to get married and live happily ever after, don’t be too hard on yourself if your own romance doesn’t last. For the same reasons mentioned above, new college relationships can be hard, too. Serious relationships require maintenance, commitment, and communication, which is a tall order. And college is about self-discovery (and studying!) and that often conflicts with being able to devote all of your time or yourself to a relationship. Those relationships don’t have to end in marriage.
Nobody likes to think about ending a relationship, but sometimes you have to face the hard truth:…Read more
That said, a breakup, especially your first one, is absolutely freaking horrible. It’s confusing, heartbreaking, and you’ll be surprised at the depths to which you can feel sadness. It gets better, but gut-wrenching heartache is kind of distracting when you have to, you know, study and go to class. It’s tough, but you have to learn to stay focused while you’re going through one. Take things a day at a time, allow yourself to let out your emotions, but don’t dwell on them, either. I hate to say it, but you may have quite a few breakups in college. It doesn’t necessarily get easier every time, but you figure out how to best handle it every time, and it always gets better.
Breakups don’t just kill romance—they can disrupt nearly every area of your life. You don’t feel…Read more
And then there’s the other college dating myth: you’ll constantly get laid and meet new people. That certainly happens in college, but the reality doesn’t look as much like a movie as you’d think.
Meeting people is tough, and even when you’re successful, a casual encounter can turn into an “it’s complicated” relationship very fast. Feelings take over, you don’t even know what you want anymore, and before you know it, you forgot to study for your final.
Dating is often awkward, sweet, and challenging (sometimes at the same time). But don’t worry,…Read more
We’d also be remiss not to point out that meeting new people can be dangerous, especially at the beginning of college. It’s a sad fact, but women, especially, should be aware of the “Red Zone.” The Centre County Resource Center explains:
The first month and a half of college is the time when freshmen women are most likely to be raped or experience attempted rape. This time period is known as the “Red Zone” – a period of vulnerability for sexual assaults, beginning when freshmen first walk onto campus until Thanksgiving break.” According to multiple studies, female students are at an increased risk for sexual assault during the first few weeks of their first semester on campus. Most college students who are sexually assaulted are victimized by someone they know.
Many rapists take advantage of the fact that a lot of people think there’s a difference between rape and “acquaintance rape,” also known as “date rape.” In fact, many of them wouldn’t even consider themselves rapists. The best way to stop rape from happening is to make rapists stop raping, but when it comes to right this second, the best you can do is be aware of these potential dangers so you can avoid them.
In elementary and high school, you’re used to having study prompts. Your teacher meticulously plans the syllabus to make sure everyone keeps up. Maybe he or she even gives you a weekly quiz to motivate you to read the assigned chapters.
You’ve probably already heard that college is a different story.
No one cares if you study—it’s up to you to keep up and pay attention. You learn to create your own schedule and manage your own time, and if you don’t, you’ll fall behind fast. In college, I took a couple of remote classes, and there were no quizzes, just one final exam at the end of the semester. The classes were available on videotape at the library, but rather than watch one lecture every week, I’d find something else to do and procrastinate. Of course, this meant when final exam time rolled around, I had a week to cram in three months’ worth of lectures. It was a nightmare—literally, to this day, I have nightmares that I forgot about the class entirely and never graduated!
To combat this, you need a study plan. Like a syllabus, but one that you create for yourself. HowtoStudy.com has a good skeleton you can adapt:
Of course, you’ll also want to note in your calendar all the important dates on your class syllabus, train yourself to take great notes, and adopt some killer studying skills to help you study smarter.
Similar to your studying habits, no one really gives a damn about how you manage your money.
In fact, there are a lot of entities counting on you being really horrible with money, and many of them walk around campus offering you free t-shirts and other swag hoping you’ll sign up for their latest offer. They’re hoping you’ll open a credit card, not be able to pay it off, and spend years paying crazy high interest rates. They’re hoping you’ll screw up your budget and need to take out a payday loan. These are common debt traps that a lot of us fall into when we’re young and we don’t know beans about money.
Many times, being broke means being desperate. Your mind is stressed, your finances are stretched…Read more twocents.lifehacker.com
If you’re lucky enough to have parents who taught you good money habits, you’re a step ahead of the game. If not, here are a few basics you should know. They might seem obvious to some, but when you’re just starting out, the fundamentals of finance aren’t as clear at all.
Beyond those rules, you’ll also want to come up with a basic budget, which can be challenging when you don’t have a lot of money. But it comes down to tracking your expenses, categorizing them, and coming up with a spending plan for each category based on your income.
It takes commitment and time, but you can learn to manage your money even when there's not…Read more twocents.lifehacker.com
Most high school students look forward to college because they’re finally free. You get to get away from your family! At some point, though, homesickness will probably set in, and you’ll actually start to miss them.
And it’ll be the dumbest, most subtle things you’ll miss, too, like watching TV with your parents. I’m in my thirties, and I still tear up when I realize I don’t get to watch Seinfeld reruns with my mom whenever I want.
It might not hit you at first, but eventually, something will likely trigger your homesickness. You might not even realize you feel homesick at first. You might feel resentful, or vulnerable, or think you’re just feeling blue for no reason. That it could very well be homesickness setting in: feeling a lack of familiarity and security. When it hits, a few things can help:
Simply learning to identify and admit your homesickness can make a big difference, too. It’s a lot easier to manage feeling blue when you know whyyou’re feeling blue.
A lot of people don’t realize just how much your plans will change in college. I had a completely different major when I started, then switched my second or third year. Thankfully, a lot of my credits still carried over, so I only stayed a semester longer, but for some people, that change can throw them off by a year or more.
This is something you want to be prepared for ahead of time, when you’re planning your courses. If you’re not 100% sure about your direction (or even if you think you are), you might want to opt for the classes that have a bit more overlap in other areas.
Also, knowing that your plans will change can help you financially, too. You may want to be a little more frugal with your spending now, knowing that you might have an extra year before you start looking for full-time work.
In fact, a lot of things can change in college. Sixty percent of freshmen surveyed say they wish they had been more emotionally prepared for college, and half of them say they don’t feel like they belong. This is normal. Our expectations of college can lead to a surprising, and sometimes disappointing, first-year experience. After a while, though, you do learn to adapt, and, if you’re lucky, your college years will indeed become some of the best and most memorable of your life.