They'd sit me in a chair and ask what I wanted to learn. I had a list: to believe that I was at- tractive to women; to live in my own reality; to stop worrying about what other people thought of me; to move and speak with an air of strength, con- fidence, mystery, and depth; to get over my fear of sexual rejection; and, of course, to attain a sense of worthiness, which Rasputin defined as the belief that one deserves the best the world has to offer.